Admittedly, I’m kind of a wuss, but spiders terrify me like nothing else. (Except zombies.) I really have no explanation as to why this is, it just is. There have been moments when I’ve been paralyzed in fear. It’s totally irrational! Knowing that does not make it any better.

Many people have witnessed my nonsensical freak-outs. Senior year, Maria Carrillo High School. Locker cave. Open my locker during break to find a spider has decided that of all the lockers in the row, my locker suited it best. I freaked out and round housed that spider away. I may have cried. My bff Desiree witnessed this debacle. I’m sure she would laugh. (Come to think of it, she’s been by my side through several arachnid accostings.) In my defense, the spider was HUGE!

Just like that......

Yep. Just like that……

The silly thing is that I truly don’t mind spiders if they aren’t in my personal space. Outside? Go nuts! In my house? You have 5 seconds to vacate or I bust out the vacuum. (The vacuum has an extension rod you see, so I can be very far away.) If the spider is lucky and James is home, said spider will be escorted out of the house either manually (ICK!) or in a cup.

I do not understand why spiders come inside the house. I get that it is warm and there might be less predators, but there also isn’t any food!  Currently there is a small daddy-long-legs in the hall bathroom. He’s been in there for at least two weeks. What is he doing? Maybe he likes the steam from the shower but he must be starving. And if he even looks at me sideways he will be sorry. As long as he isn’t crawling in my general direction, we’re cool.

When I was little there was a bigger DLL that lived next to my desk in my room. In my memory he was there for a really long time. Like months. I kind of doubt that was actually the case but I was maybe 7 or 8. I’m pretty sure he had a name like Sammy or something. He didn’t bother me and I didn’t bother him. Occasionally we chatted but that was about it. One day he disappeared. I wonder where he went. Maybe he died and I blocked it from my memory. Kid brains are helpful that way.

I just hope he didn’t up and decide to crawl across my face like this guy:

Tropical spider

Tropical spider

That dude crawled across my arm and jumped onto Mr. James’ face while we slept in our hotel room in the Dominican Republic. Suffice it to say, we changed rooms immediately, but not after running to the front desk in our jammies and frantically trying to explain the situation in Spanish to the people at the desk. They must have thought we were high.

I don’t know what the point of this post is supposed to be. Sorry!

What are you (irrationally) afraid of?


4 responses to “Spiders

  1. Argh that tropical spider is HORROR – I would’ve been suffering from PTSD after an episode like that! I wouldn’t just want to change rooms, I’d want to change countries I think….. I also am terrified of spiders – my boyfriend tries to placate me in silly ways, like you might do with a child, and I just end up shouting GET IT THE EFF OUT OF THE HOUSE!

    • I DID want to leave but we only had two days left and I toughed it out. Get this, the room we moved to had a giant cockroach in the bathtub that I unfortunately killed (I’m cool with roaches but was in shock) and I felt so bad I cried forever. Memories!

  2. Lacey, I’m sorry this made me laugh, but I’ve seen people do the “spider terror dance” before, and I could envision your locker fright. 🙂 We have an old house, and the basement has two closed rooms with dirt floors. The third room is finished and was our son’s bedroom. He was bit by a spider more than once. They were ugly, nasty, bites that took a long time to heal. Keep shooing them out of your house! Me? I’ll do your spider terror dance when I see a snake, and there better never be one in my house!

    • Ew! You could not pay me to sleep in a room with spiders. No Way. I just know they are going to make a beeline for my face the minute the lights go off!
      Yea if there is a snake IN your house….not so good. Outside, they eat the spiders! Right?? LOL

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